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On Friday night at 9.30pm our six year old black Labrador/Rottweiler cross, Draco, died.

I've grown up with dogs my whole life but Draco was something else. We always felt that with Draco there was a more intimate connection. Draco was not just a family pet, but he was part of the family.

For the last 9 months Draco has been living with my sister on the coast. Draco loved living with Bron. He was the centre of attention at all times.

Draco was torn away from us very suddenly. He got a Paralysis Tick in his eye on Thursday. He was taken to the vet on Friday afternoon as he was struggling to walk. They found the tick and removed it, gave him the anti-serum and told us all we could do was wait. He died that night.

He wasn't meant to die. I still don't know how he could be dead. In a matter of hours our dear Draco was dead.

My sister did everything possible. She checked him for ticks daily and made sure he was treated every 6 weeks accordingly. She was worried about him on Thursday night because he seemed to be limping but after consulting with Mum and Dad it was decided to leave it until the following morning as Draco was always such a wimp and was continually falling down the stairs and hurting himself.

I was with my parents this weekend and when the phone rang on Friday night I knew what had happened. I can still hear the choked sobs of my sister crying 'He's dead, Tor. He's dead. Tor, he's dead.'

At the end of the day I know he was just a dog, but it feels like a piece of my heart was ripped out on Friday night. Draco was so much more than just a dog. He was our family and now he's gone.

My poor darling sister is all on her own and while she's got friends to help her it won't stop her from hurting. All of a sudden Draco is gone and she's going to notice it physically.

Both Mum and Bron are blaming themselves. They feel they let Draco down, that if they had done something sooner he would be okay, but there is nothing more they could of done.

I've felt so selfish grieving for my dog. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to grieve because he was only a dog, but none of us can do that. We're all a little bit broken now.

I've lost plenty of animals over the years but I have never felt this way before. I find it hard to believe that he is really dead.

I don't know how to explain any of this. I don't know how to put any of it into words, how to explain just how special Draco was to us. It all happened so quickly. Our best friend, our family, gone.

I feel shattered and worn and I just want to see my dog one more time and I never will again.

Oh, Draco. You will be remembered by many.







Date: 2007-10-22 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alissomora.livejournal.com
Oh, my goodness. I'm reading this post and looking at the pictures of Draco with tears in my eyes. You absolutely cannot blame yourselves, none of you. It was one of those tragic things, much like when our Zac was bitten by the snake. He was loved by you all and he had a good life, and although he was too young to go that's a lot more than many other animals have.

Let yourself grieve, Tori. Loved pets really are part of the family. *huge hugs* I'm only ever an email away if you want to cry or vent, or I will call you.

Date: 2007-10-22 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shakespearechic.livejournal.com
Oh sweetie, this teared up my eyes as well. Definitely no one is too blame, it's just one of those things... It sounds like Draco knew how much he was loved and he was a big part of your family. I can still tear up when I think about our family dog who died back in 2000. Doggies get into our hearts and we will always remember them. *hugs*

Date: 2007-10-25 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellanine.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry you lost your dog. :( That's really awful. He was a beautiful animal! You don't have to feel any guilt whatsoever for grieving. Everyone is entitled to their grief no matter who they lose. We love our pets! I'm just so sorry that you've lost yours. *hugs*

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